At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
