dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
