There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
True strength comes from lack of pants
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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