Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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