What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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