I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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