STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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