is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
