I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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