in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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