Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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