Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
