I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Sorry about my life...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
