found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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