Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
