ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
