good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
