Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
