Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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