she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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