Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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