he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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