This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
pray to the hookup gods
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
