try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
