You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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