just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I understand Curling. That high.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
