so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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