office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
