i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
