I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
