trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also, beer. Big fan.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
