Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
