your room smells of hookers.
And success
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize