I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
is that a dick in a sweater?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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