batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
