Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
