Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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