and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
