This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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