i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Oh god it's open bar.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
