u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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