You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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