My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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