How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
