would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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