Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
