I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
