I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
