His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
