:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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