Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
