NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
