dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
