i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
