was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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