Apparently you make a good broom.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
