The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
