Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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